...what's one to do?
I got another myth I'm about to dispel, so hold on to your panties 'cause we're going for a fuckin' ride!!! I've heard it said, and read it, that Led Zeppelin invented/started Heavy Metal. What? Huh? You like me are probably laughing your ass off to that one. If not, you're not informed... At all... Maybe even fuckin' stupid!!! Led Zeppelin started coming together in 1968, whereas by '69 Black Sabbath was already signed and recording... One Led Zeppelin bio writer writes, "Did they invent heavy metal? Well, while it would be unfair to blame them for something as dreadful as, say, Motley Crue, they were certainly responsible for the trappings, images, and even the excesses that came to be known as that much-revered and much-hated musical form." First let me say, are you fuckin' lost? What are you talking about? In as little as two sentences, you fucked up so many things that I'm going to have to spend an hour clearing and cleaning up rock history. In response, first no. To elaborate, Led Zeppelin could never have invented Heavy Metal for at least these two reasons. One, Sabbath was out at the same time, playing music of a clearly heavier and darker nature. Second, Led Zeppelin was in NO WAY a metal band. I hate to do it but I have to compare them to a far better band to prove my point. Led Zeppelin like Guns N' Roses was a blues rock band. Need I remind you that Jimmy Page was strait out of the Yard Birds with none other then Eric Clapton!!!??? As far as saying their music was Heavy Metal, having a total disregard for musical structure and at times being more abstract than musical does not make one's music Heavy Metal music. First, it makes it hard to listen to and second it makes it anything but Heavy Metal. Next!!! The comment about Led Zeppelin being responsible for bands like Motley Crue is true. I think by now everyone sees the connection here. Motley Crue is often referred to as Hair Metal or GLAM Metal, (Gay Los Angeles Metal) so by giving Led Zeppelin credit for inspiring such shitty music they must be the fathers of Heavy Metal, right? WRONG!!! Motley Crue wasn't even metal, let alone Heavy Metal. GLAM or Hair Metal are just terms given to this type of cross dressing Pop Rock. The same way Killions Irish Red is sold as an import when it's actually made right in the good ol' US of A by Coors. Led Zeppelin certainly set the example of partying and the whole life style of excess, but musically, they had nothing to do with Heavy Metal. Their closest relationship to Heavy Metal is through bands like Motley Crue, who also, where not Heavy Metal!!! Duh! Just listen to Led Zeppelin for five seconds and you can tell it's blues rock. Listen to Sabbath for five seconds and you can tell that their the founding fathers of Heavy Metal.
This is the, "I can't fucking stand it anymore," page! Recently I've found myself in a few really frustrating conversations regarding people not getting their facts strait. I can't stand it. I really can't. First off, let me say that I'll be adding more proof to this as I find the time. Now, I don't know how many times anyone who knows anything about music is going to have to say this to you stupid fuckin' morons, but Guns N' Roses wasn't, isn't, and never will be a.) a hair metal band, nor b.) a glam rock band!!! I can't stress this next part enough! GNR was a Blues Hard Rock band, is a Hard Rock band, and who knows where Axl will take them in the future, but one thing is for sure, they will never be hair or glam!!! Next, on a similar note, The so called "Greatest Rock n' Roll band of all time" is not Led Zeppelin! Once again, I can't stress that enough! Led Zeppelin is not the "Greatest Rock n' Roll band of all time!!! Many, many, many reasons why they are not. There are so many I could go on for hours! I have, trust me! A.) Guns n' Roses had the longest world tour in the history of Rock n' Roll not Led Zeppelin. B.) Many artists have had more hit singles than Led Zeppelin. C.) Individually the members of Led Zeppelin don't hold up as "the greatest" at their own instrument, i.e. Axl Rose is considered the greatest front man of all time, while Robert Plant isn't even second. (Freddie Mercury) Slash has been seen as high as the forth best guitar player EVER! While no one doubts Jimmy Page's chops, I've never heard anyone dumb enough to try to force feed me the bull shit of him being better than anyone let alone better than Slash! Yeah, they had a great drummer, but! And a big but too! He may have been good but the mixing of the drums on their albums was so terrible that anyone could have been their drummer! D.) When it comes down to album sales Led Zeppelin's came mostly from one album! One high selling album makes not a great band! If that is the reason for calling them the "Greatest Rock n' Roll band ever," then Consider that Pink Floyd not only did the same with Dark Side of the Moon, but also with The Wall. E.) Guns n' Roses, not Led Zeppelin, had the single biggest day of albums sales in recorded rock history when Use Your Illusion One came out! F.) Bands such as Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, and Pink Floyd have had success in not just one decade but three or even four decades! G.) Bands such as Aerosmith and Pink Floyd have had success in other genres of music just by doing what they do! Aerosmith had a cross over rap hit with Walk This Way while Pink Floyd is credited with the invention of an entire genre! I.e. Techno with Dark Side of the Moon. H.) Led Zeppelin didn't even have the best band movie ever with "The Song Remains the Same!" Pink Floyd's "The Wall" and the Beatles' "Hard Days Night" are widely considered "better." I.) Led Zeppelin is the only band, that I know of, on the list of greatest ever rock bands who out right stole other peoples songs and put new words to them and claimed them as their own!!! I can't sit back and pretend that's cool with me or anyone! I can't believe that any self respecting musician would respect, revere, or even claim to like Led Zeppelin after they were caught red handed having stolen such songs as "Ooo, My Soul" by Ritchie Valens and another by Willie Dixon!!! J.) Jesus, did I just say J?! Wow, long list, sorry but it's all true... So anyway, J.) The single best selling debut album in rock history... You fuckin' guessed it! Appetite For Destruction by Guns N' fuckin' Roses!!! I'm sure there's more but I'm going to have an embolism if I go any further! I think you get the point though. This is where I have to give in and say that Led Zeppelin laid the ground work for the future success of most Rock n' Roll bands to follow them. This is true, well, at the very least it's most rock historian's opinions. I usually give in and say that Led Zeppelin was very important to the evolution of Rock but not to the point that anyone should give them a hand out like the title "Greatest Rock n' Roll band ever!" Word!!!
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